Come Full Circle
It has officially been a year since I moved to Japan. So many lessons learned and so many good and bad experiences.
Let's recap.
I came here full of hope in improving my Japanese. A few months ago I realized that I had not a single Japanese friend that I only spoke Japanese with. A crippling realization in my goal to speak fluent Japanese.
I gained 18 pounds. Became deeply depressed because of it. Shopping in this country became a NIGHTMARE. Given that the women here are toothpicks to begin with, my weight gain only exacerbated the situation. Yet after months of struggle, I have been able to lose close to 14 and a half pounds. Four and a little more to go.
Lost TONS of confidence as a woman because all the guys I hung out with here seemed only to be after Japanese women. It took a while, but I finally realized that I couldn't care less. Yet, I'm so thankful for the experience because it made me search within and find my own beauty (I know, I know, that was such a cliche). But for some odd reason (who would have thunk it? ;) ), I had been relying on other people's opinions to feel good about myself. Enough of that nonsense.
Realized that as someone who considered herself hardworking, I seem to lack tremendous discipline. Found out that if left to my own devices, I would just as well become a recluse and do absolutely nothing. A product from the lack of continuous stimulating work at school.
Met an amazing Japanese woman who has become such a wonderful example of God's love. Sometimes I think I'm especially blessed. To move to a country where 98% of the population don't believe in God, to be placed in a small farm community, and then to run into a God fearing Japanese woman not 2 minutes away from my house. Now that's God's steady hand in my life.
My sister came to visit. Her first visit across the Atlantic, nope, I think she took the pacific route. Anyhoot, her first visit this side of the hemisphere. I am SO thankful that she was able to get that experience. SO thankful.
School functions, problems with student motivation, partying, culture shock, unconsciously internalizing the customs, losing interest in Kendo, visiting South Korea, finally getting over my ex, finding out and being in shock that I could no longer apply for the Rhodes scholarship (pass the age limit), family craziness abounding (still wondering when it will end), etc, etc...
And yet after all that, what's Next? What will this coming year bring? Who knows? But I know one thing for sure, I'm going to try to be more proactive about my moves. I feel like last year things were happening to me, with so much to take in and so much to do, instead of me doing things.
And to keep me focused I have devised a list of must DOs for the next and hopefully last year here.
Swim with dolphins one more time.
Learn to Surf.
Learn to Snowboard.
Visit Okinawa.
Travel outside Japan more!
Go horseback riding.
Go to Tokyo Disney Sea.
Go to Kyoto in the fall.
Make Japanese speaking friends!
Take the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency test) and pass!
Start up Kendo again.
Pray more.
Join the archery club at school.
"Sing" at a Japanese wedding (that would be a good one ;) )
Visit Shikoku (securing landing on all four islands in Japan)
See the third and last site and achieve going to the three most scenic sites in Japan.
Let's recap.
I came here full of hope in improving my Japanese. A few months ago I realized that I had not a single Japanese friend that I only spoke Japanese with. A crippling realization in my goal to speak fluent Japanese.
I gained 18 pounds. Became deeply depressed because of it. Shopping in this country became a NIGHTMARE. Given that the women here are toothpicks to begin with, my weight gain only exacerbated the situation. Yet after months of struggle, I have been able to lose close to 14 and a half pounds. Four and a little more to go.
Lost TONS of confidence as a woman because all the guys I hung out with here seemed only to be after Japanese women. It took a while, but I finally realized that I couldn't care less. Yet, I'm so thankful for the experience because it made me search within and find my own beauty (I know, I know, that was such a cliche). But for some odd reason (who would have thunk it? ;) ), I had been relying on other people's opinions to feel good about myself. Enough of that nonsense.
Realized that as someone who considered herself hardworking, I seem to lack tremendous discipline. Found out that if left to my own devices, I would just as well become a recluse and do absolutely nothing. A product from the lack of continuous stimulating work at school.
Met an amazing Japanese woman who has become such a wonderful example of God's love. Sometimes I think I'm especially blessed. To move to a country where 98% of the population don't believe in God, to be placed in a small farm community, and then to run into a God fearing Japanese woman not 2 minutes away from my house. Now that's God's steady hand in my life.
My sister came to visit. Her first visit across the Atlantic, nope, I think she took the pacific route. Anyhoot, her first visit this side of the hemisphere. I am SO thankful that she was able to get that experience. SO thankful.
School functions, problems with student motivation, partying, culture shock, unconsciously internalizing the customs, losing interest in Kendo, visiting South Korea, finally getting over my ex, finding out and being in shock that I could no longer apply for the Rhodes scholarship (pass the age limit), family craziness abounding (still wondering when it will end), etc, etc...
And yet after all that, what's Next? What will this coming year bring? Who knows? But I know one thing for sure, I'm going to try to be more proactive about my moves. I feel like last year things were happening to me, with so much to take in and so much to do, instead of me doing things.
And to keep me focused I have devised a list of must DOs for the next and hopefully last year here.
Swim with dolphins one more time.
Learn to Surf.
Learn to Snowboard.
Visit Okinawa.
Travel outside Japan more!
Go horseback riding.
Go to Tokyo Disney Sea.
Go to Kyoto in the fall.
Make Japanese speaking friends!
Take the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency test) and pass!
Start up Kendo again.
Pray more.
Join the archery club at school.
"Sing" at a Japanese wedding (that would be a good one ;) )
Visit Shikoku (securing landing on all four islands in Japan)
See the third and last site and achieve going to the three most scenic sites in Japan.
posted by Shrls at 1:03 PM
2 Comments:
Just want to reply to your message about "beauty" and your losing your confidence about it. I'm a male and find you absolutely stunningly beautiful. Whenever I see you, which I admit, is not often, I'm in awe of your physical beauty and intelligence. I'll also confess to getting a bit "hard" down there when I saw your bikini pics. You're stunning! If you're ever lonely and looking for a frolic some evening, let me know! And do know that that it's your personality and intelligence, even more than your totally awesome body (which is REALLY hot!), that turn me on. You're an awesome girl!
Dear anonymous,
Thank you so much. That was really kind of you. :) But um, yeah, no frolicking here. haha ;)
Take care and see you next time I guess.
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