ahhhhh

I feel so much better now! In fact, i feel back to normal. I'm SOOOOOOOOO glad I got to talk things over.

whew!

p.s. sorry you guys for being vague, but i just needed somewhere to vent...

Agreeing with an Axiomatic Truth

I have seen and come by this quote many a times and each time I read it I just can't help, but agree...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy...

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

...

I've tried to talk about it and then evaluate my feelings, but the end result always end up revealing.... what you're having problems with digesting is fine and couldn't possibly be any other way, so LET IT GO!

So, I sit and I mull and I seclude and I mull and become excluded. I struggle hard not to let my screwed up feelings emerge, but alas this is one of my GREATEST weaknesses! What is felt inside cannot be hidden and I'm doomed with being revealed.

Lord God, I so wish I could get over this feeling quickly....

Hokkaido Yukki Matsuri! (Hokkaido Snow Festival)

Wow! This past weekend was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun. Maybe a bit too much fun as I came back home with a fever I still haven't been able to brush off. As it is, I'm still feeling a bit dizzy from the boat ride. I've lost my sense of balance because of the sickness. But I've been working REALLY hard to get back into shape because the weekend is only in a few hours and you what that means.... More Dancing!!!!!! But no really, this weekend is the Chinese New Year and Laura, Navin, and Dan (my first mention of him, he also lives in Mito) plan on attending the occasion in the biggest Chinatown in Japan: Yokohama! I've yet to go to Yokohama so this should be a blast! I just love checking out all the Chinatowns around the world and comparing and seeing how they differ from country to country. So far, my favorite is the one in London.

Okay back to my Hokkaido trip. Wow! is the only expression that can sum up the trip. I went to Hokkaido last summer, but also wanted to check out the snow festival in the winter and I'm glad I did. The city, Sapporo, with snow looked completely different from when I visited it last. It was also the only snow I've seen in Japan so it gave me a good short ;) taste of winter. The sculptures this year, to be honest, weren't that amazing. But, the bonding with friends and night life were FANTASTIC! I danced so much that weekend, I might have well decided to take a shower in sweat. Eewww, that was a bit gross. Anywho, I wouldn't have wanted to change a thing about the whole weekend.

There was one interesting thing that happened that weekend though.... at one point during the night I needed a break from dancing (can you imagine?! ;) ) so I headed to a bar to get a straw for my cranberry juice and napkin to cool off a bit. There were a pack of guys, black guys, (now this fact is important) surrounding the the bar space I was eyeing so, whatcha think I did? Natuarally, I walked up to them and said excuse me as I squeezed my way in to get the attention of the bartender. Then I heard this reply that made me absolutely livid. "She ain't half as that." I thought, what the heck does this guy mean?! That I'm not half as attractive as I think I am for wanting to get in front of these guys? While all of this was rolling through my mind I calmly took my drink, left the bar, and found my friends to sit with. Yet, the whole time I was talking with them, I couldn't get the comment out of my mind. I told myself, you CAN'T leave this place without putting that guy in his place for that comment.

So, before I went back down to the dance floor, I spotted him and headed straight for my target. I planted my feet right in front of him and asked him. "What did you say at the bar while I was there?" "What do you mean?" He replied. In response, "When I slipped in just to get a straw I thought I heard you say something behind my back, what was it?" "Look, you might have heard something else, but I didn't say anything about you." He said. Cocking my head to the side, I replied, "Really? So it wasn't you that said...'She ain't half as that.'" Then he looked as if recognition had seeped into his brain and quickly admitted to the comment. "But, you misunderstood the conversation. Me and my buddies were talking and they asked me why I would not let the Japanese girl in, but that I let you in... he replied 'Because, She ain't half as that (meaning myself).'" I looked at him with skepticism for a while and asked him if he were being honest and he said, "Darling, I'm telling you the truth. I haven't felt like that in a while and only a black woman could do it." I'm usually good at reading people and I could really feel he was being honest so I relaxed my guard said, "Well you're lucky. I was going to tell you about yourself if that comment had been directed at me." He said, "No, no, that could never be the case. I wouldn't do that." At that moment I felt a special bond with him. We were two African Americans, in a country were being us, WASN'T easy. It was good to know that my own wouldn't have tried to depress his own people's confidence in a place like this. Lord knows we're already feeling it elsewhere. It hurt that night when I had thought it had happened. It wouldn't have really mattered to me, but what if I were someone that was a whole lot more sensitive and was left mortified by it? I wanted him to know that he couldn't go around and do that to his people while being here. We felt and understood this and for the first time in Japan, I was close to tears. We hugged and parted and for the rest of the night I felt grand because of the reconciliation!

I'll never forget him (Louie) or that experience. I just wish we had been able to exchange info....

Pictures!!

I have tons of new pictures up. I still have a lot more to put up, but trust me, these should keep you busy for a while. They're more than enough.

love ya!

The Brunt of Whispers

Okay so yesterday night, I finally figured out why my students where whispering behind my back.

I had a freakin hair bonnet in the collar of my shirt that I thought I had taken off in the morning. Yet, apparently in my rush it had gotten caught onto my shirt and it was stuck there the ENTIRE day until a friend in the evening reached out and said what's this on your neck? I was so embarrassed.

AHHhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm now one of those crazy teachers that run around looking like a fool. You know, the one you always made fun of....

Dancing with Sumos

The weekend before last was amazing! Probably one of the best weekends I've ever had here.

There was a mixture of everything. Culture, by visiting Narita-san (a temple), and then great shopping where I got a bad coat! Eating at an amazing Turkish restaurant. Say, what the heck are they doing here?! But it was rEALly tasty. Can't wait to go there again. Then to top off the night we partied away until the crack of dawn at a bar called the "bar gin" which is supposed to be the "virgin." But being that it's difficult for the Japanese to pronounce v, v always turns into "b." Anywho, just when everyone was pooped out and ready to hit the road, we spotted two Sumo wrestlers. It was amazing! One Japanese and one Russian sumo. They're usually or more accurately almost always wearing kimonos (more likely yukata's) when they're out in public. But for some reason, that night they were wearing street clothes and afterwards I found out that that was a complete rarity. What are the odds?! Anyway, Laura, Sarah and I asked them questions to no end. How much do you eat a day, practice, weigh etc etc. We were just enamoured by them. Finally, I suggested that we go dance. That was most definitely the BEST part of the whole day. The Russian sumo was sooo cute! He would dance by getting into traditional sumo posses and fake wrestle with some random guys.

It was a blast! The only thing I regret from that night though was being tooooooo lazy to get a camera out!!!!!!!! I feel as if I'll pay for that one though....dearly!