Do You Really FEEL What You Think You Feel?

I'm reading a book by Kim McMillen and her daughter Alison McMillen. It's called "When I Love Myself Enough." It's essentially a compilation of little notes left by a mother to her daughter. So Alison, the daughter, decided to make a book of it.

This note made me think:
"When I loved myself enough I started feeling all my feelings, not analysing them- really feeling them."

I wondered, do I do that? Do I actually experience the feelings I think of or do I just sit there and think about them; wishing them to happen? It's a tricky question. I can honestly say that I can only count with one hand when I was actually truly happy that I FELT it radiating from my inner self. I sometimes think, this should make you happy so you're happy. Right? Wrong.

What would happen if we really felt angry about the genocide in Darfur? What would happen if we really felt compassion for people in need? What would happen if I really felt what I thought I felt and acted upon my feelings?

Thus, I can say I am guilty of not really feeling what I think I feel. I think I shy away from really being moved by these feelings because I am afraid of the outcome that might arise from doing so. I'm afraid of the inevitable actions that must be taken if I really did.

And then comes the question.... What are you afraid of? And why?

I`ll need to think about that one for a bit....

This Isn't Funny

There's something wrong when I have to sit inside a closed building with my winter coat on. I look freakin ridiculous, but I'd rather look so than die of frost bite.

How is it that the Japanese can be so far advanced in so many ways, but so behind in the most mundane of things?

My dilemma: Lack of insulation and central heating in homes and buildings.

Solution: There is none!!!!!! You just freeze your arse to death. You do anything conceivable to keep your tush warm and you pray that the season passes over quickly.
The only problem is winter hasn't even started yet! Someone help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What brought on this exclamation: Checking out the weather in Miami. It's 85 degrees fahrenheit there now!!!!!!!!!!

uwwwa I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait.

I Can See the Day Clearly

December is vastly approaching and I can`t keep my excitement in. I`m so happy I`ll be heading home for the holidays! Everytime I think about it I get giddy.


Uhhh, home is lovely!!!

I miss you all xxxxMUAHxxxxx

Envisioning the Finish Line- The Hokota Marathon

This weekend was great! I ran in a marathon (well u wldn't really call it so in the States bc it's not long, but that's what they call races here) and spent a really nice afternoon in the vortex city of Mito (the city I can't seem to shake off no matter what). But, I can't really complain because I really do like it. I could just do without the commute, you know?

Okay, so I trained for two months for this race and the outcome wasn't too bad. I came in forth in my age group. My goal was to run the 5k (or 3 mile) race in 25 minutes, but I ended up doing it in 26 minutes and 33 seconds. It's not terribly bad, but I was a bit disappointed. I was pleasently surpised though that I came in 4th place in my group. That was cool. Yet, after the race I did feel a bit of sadness that the event was at a close. It kept me motivated to run every morning before work and now it's all over. And the whole event was so much fun too. The people of Hokota were soo nice and welcoming. Of course we were treated as if we were some kind of rock stars because we were foreigners. I got to meet and shake hands with the mayor of the town. I know for sure that pictures of that conversation or shake will show up somewhere in a newspaper here. They just can't get over foreigners here. They also had drawings and gave out really cool prizes; a dvd player, a fancy bike, then $100s, $300s, and finally $500s. Uwwwa, it sure would have been nice to win some of that money. The experience was so cool that I'm now on the look out for more "marathons" to enter. Hmmmm.... where could the next one be?

The race was Sunday morning. Sunday afternoon was spent in the vortex and with an interesting character. It was really cool. I was reminded so much of a friend back home and our long conversations about anything and everything until the wee morning. Boy do I miss those late night talks buddy. I didn't hang out with my fellow Jets this afternoon and I felt I got to explore more of what lies under the belly of that city. It also seemed like there was more of a possibility of meeting young japanese people. I never get to interact with them bc one, I'm always with foreigners and two they're VERY hard to come by in my town.

Thus, I think I'm going to lay low with the Jets for a while. I feel the need to expand my wings and sore a bit.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Happy Thanksgiving my lovely peeps!


I miss you all so much. I tried calling several of you this morning (your thanksgiving evening), but I couldn`t get through to anyone except one. So hopefully you all will be reading this.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!! I love you all and I hope you are enjoying this day with your family. It`s when you`re not able to be with them that you realize the importance of cherishing holidays and moments like these. So if you`re with your family, appreciate the occasion!!!!!! Even if things are not in tip-top shape.


This past weekend the JETs here had thanksgiving dinner in Mito (the city that I ALWAYS end up in on the weekends- an hour and a half drive away btw....). Never the less, it was sooo much fun. There was so much food left over. The Brits didn`t know what was what though because they don`t celebrate Thanksgiving. For the Canadians, it`s just about the same so no probs there. My cheesecake turned out really good this time.

I have pics that will be posted in a couple of days on my flicker site. Please stay tuned.

Again I love and miss you all!!!!!!

Hot Showers are Amazing!

So yesterday I was able to go home early because the gas guy (or guys as it turned out) was going to check out the heater in my bathroom. The heater was no longer giving out hot water and I had stop taking a shower; a dangerous outcome if you ask me.

Come to find out that what was missing were just batteries for the heater!?! I thought what?! That was it? My supervisor should have known that! I suffered for days because of some stupid batteries! Why didn`t he tell me. How is it that he didn't know this. This is one thing that I do NOT like about the Japanese. They always seem to be SO clueless about things that they should surely know about. I mean, if you grew up with this shower heating system, wouldn't you have run into an old battery episode? At least once?

I hope I don`t have to pay for those peeps who came to look at my heater. Man, why did they have to bring two of them?! And you would think with them both, it would have taken a split second to solve the problem, but noooooooooooooooo they were there for a good half hour or so!

Huh, the Japanese I tell ya.

Hmmm

Just came back from my weekly Tuesday evening with Saeko and Hikichi-San. Every week she (Saeko) makes dinner for me in exchange for English conversation with her and her friend. When we started out I wasn't too happy. I thought, oh brother I'm going to get stuck in a weekly commitment I'm not sure I want to commit to. But then as each week progressed, I've come to not only look forward to Tuesday evenings but I get really excited about them.

Tonight was no different. But, it was a bit extra cool for me. I baked, well technically, helped baked my first cheesecake. It's for one of my Japanese teachers that seem to be a bit lonely. She seem to be in her early 30s and still isn't married yet. In Japan, this is a no-no. Anyway, I've come to like going to her school just to talk to her. This Saturday is her birthday. I want her to feel as happy as I was last week when people did loads of things from their hearts. So instead of buying a cake I wanted to bake it. I also got her this most adorable card that's actually a puzzle you but together.

Anyway, what I want to say is that it looks like it came out well. But we'll see on Friday at the dinner.

These Kids are Beating the Heck Out of Me!

Okay so after that wonderful dinner I went to Kendo practice. I just got back from practice and I just want a shoulder to cry on. Those kids are trying to kill me!

I don't know if I mentioned this before-I probably haven't-, but I go to this Kendo dojo three times a week and practice with elementary and middle school kids. At first I was insulted by this when I had requested a proper dojo to practice at. After watching the kids for a bit, I decided it was better to swallow up my pride and learn from them ;)! They're so fast!

Tonight, it seems they all wanted to tear my arms off. One hit it so hard, I know its going to swell tomorrow. Then after that, everyone else seem to think that it would be cool to aim for the same arm or even sometimes that same spot. My whole right arm is crying now :(.......

I Totally Conquered Today!!

Guess what?! I was able to leave at 1pm. I was so freakin happy. The second the opportunity opened up, I didn't hesitate. And you know it, as a result, I won the "buggering off " comp. Yes!

So, after claiming my freedom, I went shopping looking for the much needed coat that caused me misery last weekend. And I freakin found it!!!! I'm so happy that the search is over. It's really cute. It's black and reaches just above or it's exactly at my knees. You'll probably see pictures of it on me as the winter passes by. Anyway, that hunt is over with!

I was so happy today I decided to make a special meal. I made curry with chicken and white rice. I added lots of veggies into the curry, i.e. red, yellow, and green peppers, carrots, potatoes and onions. But what made the dish really tasty were the cashews and the raisins that I added to the curry. It was so yummy yummy! I would have taken a pic for demonstration purposes, but by the time i realized, I had eaten it all. Sorry! Next time. ;)

Trying to Bugger Off!

Today, we`re supposed to have the day off since the kids don`t have to be at school today. It`s a prefectural holiday. But noooooooooooo, come to find out on Friday that we DO have to come to work. Go figure, the day BEFORE the weekend.

Anyway today, me, Navin ( a Canadian pal), and Laura (The SNL Crew for short) are competing to see who will just up and leave or `bugger off` work early as my British gal would say. I was trying to leave at 1pm, but as the time approaches, I find myself becoming a chicken......

I`m Feeling So Blessed Today

Guess what?! It`s my Birthday!!!!

And.... So many people have remembered. I feel so blessed. I actually had two birthday parties and I couldn`t have been happier. It`s hard being away from one`s family and friends during this time, but my new family and friends haven`t faltered in their roles!

The night before, I had a lovely time with my now 2nd Japanese mother. She was so sweet. Everything she cooked last night was absolutely divine. The cake was THE BEST! So soft and moist! Not only that, she baked it from scratch that morning before she went to work! Which isn`t an easy thing to do here in Japan since the average household does not have an oven. She has this small portable one, I think. My 2nd Japanese father brought a bouquet of flowers that would have melted any heart. I was so shocked and happy, tears were starting to well up. The evening was great. We ate, we talked, we laughed and took tons of pictures- which will be posted on my flicker site so stay tuned. :)

Today was tops. My coworkers surprised me with another amazing bouquet of followers. This time with flowers I had never seen nor heard of. They were absolutely beautiful. A box of chocolate, a bowl of cooked honeyed sweet potatoes (Don`t ask....I don`t know. It`s certainly a Japanese thing. Apparently, all Japanese women love sweet potatoes so it`s an appropriate gift- who knew?...), and a beautiful card. It was certainly a surprise because they didn`t come out with the gifts until close to the end of the work day. It brought such a smile to my face.

In the evening, I had dinner with friends at an Indian restaurant. I love Indian! It`s my favorite foreign food and we are lucky enough to have found a good one close to us all. We laughed up a storm tonight. It was so much fun!!!! I loved it. Laura (my life partner here- we all have claims to life partners ;). Someone we speak to more often than anyone else, reach out to and just hang out with. If one isn`t doing it, than the other most likely won`t as well), my British buddy, surprised me with chocolate cake she was able to bake with Bethany (another American from the West Coast) using a microwave!!! I don`t know how those girls did it, but they did and it came out great! Thanks so much girls for all that hard work. It was delish.

Through out the whole day I just felt so blessed and loved. Thank you Lord so much for putting these wonderful people in my life.

Shopping In Japan Isn't Fun For a Westerner

Okay, so apparently I'm fat here.

Yesterday, a couple of Japanese friends and I spent the whole day looking for a winter coat for me. I saw some things that I really liked, but wasn't able to get them because apprently the largest size they had was a size 2 in American sizes or their "large"! They were pulling out the double larges for me and in some cases they just didn't have "my size" as if I were some giant!

The more I searched the more depressed I became. Finally, I decided it was time for a quits. Apparently, if you're above size 3 don't think to shop at stores and find your size here!!!! It seems that all japanese women are between sizes -3 to 2. But I wonder, I look around and I see tons of women that are my size and many that are larger than me. What the heck?!!!!!

The Crack Down on Dancing

Can you believe it? I know I can`t. Especially not after that amazing all nighter in Tokyo this past weekend.

Apparently, a 1948 law is currently being used to raid nightclubs in Japan to deter people from dancing. Moreover, clubs frequently visited by foreigners are the key victims.

I was dumbfounded when I read about this hilarity in The Japan Times. Apparently, dancing, which could be "erotic" (and this is true, there`s no doubt about that), is correlated with other immoral behavior and police officials want a stop to it. Is that not archaic or what? Not all dancing leads to debauchery or what not. I think that the police should worry about bigger crimes than worry about raiding clubs because of dancing. For example, drug usage or fights

I tell ya, this place ceases to amaze me.

I have included a link to a couple of the articles if you`re interested.


http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/fl20061031z2.html

http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/fl20061031z1.html

A Reprieve from the Cold

After a stormy week last week, we are being rewarded with beautiful weather. It is absolutely wonderful! If it could stay like this all year round, I would be grateful. But like life, there are good times and bad times. I took the liberty of trying to capture this beauty. Hopefully you can feel the warmth through the images.





The students out training for the marathon next week. Which I will be participating in (I know, I know, no preposition at the end of a sentence)! It`s only 5km (3miles), but I`ll be trying to see if I can beat my best time since I`ve started training at this race. I have a marathon I have been preparing for the past two months that will occur at the end of this month, November 26th.





The pacific ocean is just beyond the horizon of the landscape in this pic. If I were at a higher level (which I tried, to no avail) one would have been able to see the sea. I seem to always forget that ocean is so close since the teachers room is on the side of the school opposite to the sea.